How parents can help when a child misses out on a party invitation

A child missing out on a birthday-party invitation can feel deeply upset, but parents can help by acknowledging the disappointment and offering support without trying to change the guest list, says child psychologist Dr Sasha Hall. [1]

Hall told the BBC’s CBeebies Parenting Download that being left out is a common experience for children. Rather than removing every obstacle, she said, parents can help children build skills to manage difficult moments.

One option is to arrange another activity or time with a friend, Hall suggested. Comedian and author Cariad Lloyd, who also appeared on the programme, said children may gradually see that invitations vary: they will be invited to some parties and not others, and their friends may have similar experiences.

Parents can also explain that a small guest list may reflect practical limits, such as the cost of hosting a larger party, rather than anything about the child. Hall said there can be many reasons for a family’s choice, while cautioning that children’s friendships develop over time.

Hall said friendships tend to become more stable and meaningful between the ages of five and seven. She encouraged parents to give children time and opportunities to form connections, rather than assuming that seeing another child a few times means they are already close friends.